“Postponing your honeymoon is the most practical thing to do.”
That’s what ALL of the 15 top blog post results say when I searched for “When shall we do our honeymoon?”
Let’s be clear though, I was just curious. My husband and I have had our honeymoon. We went off for our first vacation as newlyweds before the dancing at our wedding reception even ended.
So I’ll be a renegade here and go against what everyone is telling you.
Have your honeymoon right away.
It doesn’t have to be an exotic destination.
You’ll be so tired after the wedding after all.
A honeymoon is a vacation you take as newlyweds.
It’s a break from your usual routine. Afterall, you will have a lot to process as a new wife and your groom as a new husband.
Have heard of “staycations”? Why not a staycation for your honeymoon?
There are benefits to having your honeymoon right away. Check them out here.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you. This is just my suggestion. Having your honeymoon right away is just a more marriage-honouring option. Why?
Because you’re building foundations (in your sexual life especially) early on. And foundations should be built at the start, like when building a structure.
You’ll end up planning your the wedding-to-honeymoon process more wisely. Because you won’t pour all your resources just into the wedding part. If you know you’re having your honeymoon right after your wedding, then you’ll make the wise decision of setting aside a budget for it too.
You communicate to your spouse “From now on, you are my top priority. I wouldn’t put any logistics or other relationships above you.”
In case you decide to have your honeymoon right after your wedding, you will need the help of your power team. Here are the three roles you can assign to your most trusted family or friends. Having them take care of important immediate post-wedding tasks will allow you to focus on your spouse 100% during your honeymoon. It’s possible! We switched off our phones for the next five days after our wedding day. Haha!
1. Who will pack up your personal items from the wedding?
These include personal items used as decors, excess guest souvenirs, your clothes that you won’t take to your honeymoon, your wedding dress and your groom’s suit, and everything else your suppliers are not supposed to be disposing off themselves.
Prepare a list of all these things. You can ask your wedding planner (if you have one) to set them aside. You can arrange for pick-up later if you live in the same city. Or you can ask one of the members of your bridal party who live in the same city as you to bring them back with them. Consider paying for any airport luggage fees if they need to be flown.
For destination weddings like ours, we planned our short trip in such a way that we would return to the city where we flew out from going to our honeymoon destination. We asked our wedding hotel to store the stuff for us. We had over 40 kg of luggage going home!
We decided to head straight to our simple honeymoon after the wedding. Lots of bedtimes plus activities we both love!
2. Who will settle final payments to the vendors or claim refundable deposits?
There are usually payments that need to be settled after your party is over. It could be for some damages made during the wedding, or excess orders during the reception. Whatever they might be, pick someone you trust who can take care of these.
I always include this role in the coordination list of couples when I help out in weddings. Couples always say “Glad you told us about that!” Imagine being bombarded with messages, or being physically chased by vendors at the end of your reception, or worse, the next day when you just want to internalise your being a new wife!
Don’t forget about your refundable deposits too.
Provide your designated “finance manager” with everything he/she’ll need: check/cash, vendor contracts, and instructions on where to deposit any money or send invoices received afterwards. Again, choose a very organised and trustworthy person from your bridal party who you won’t feel awkward asking this favour from.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema from Unsplash.
3. Who will send off your family?
Going straight to your honeymoon means you won’t be seeing your guests anymore.
If you don’t like this idea, maybe arrange for a brunch the next day to say your “goodbyes”? Keep it simple. You will be tired enough from planning your wedding to plan another party happening the day after. If you have resources and endurance for it, why not?
The days after your wedding can become an emotional period for your family most especially. So the period has to be tackled with grace. It may be easier for them to not see you anymore the day after your wedding if you’ve invested lots of quality time together before the wedding. And of course, communicating with them about your plans is being considerate of you.
My caveat here is: there will always be people who you will disappoint when you choose your spouse first. It will take time for them to understand. But that’s the courage you can pray from God. You will need to start practicing prioritising your spouse as early as your first second as a husband and wife.
So, if you decide to go on a honeymoon right away, it’s a good idea to appoint someone or people to be your “relationship managers”. They will help with making sure that the logistics of our guests, or your family at least, are sorted out. They will answer questions about departure, lost and found items, and other things other than “how do you feel about being married now?” They will be your help in extending warmth and love to your guests!
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the idea of planning anything past the wedding day itself, take heart. There’s a way to do it with less stress. On my weekly emails, you will find tools to help you in the planning process. We can also chat about wedding admin assistance that you might need for this busy time. Email me here!