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Questions To Help You Set Your Wedding Guiding Principles

"What in the world are wedding guiding principles?" you might ask. I answer these questions on The Step to Planning Your Wedding That Nobody Talks About to understand how having guiding principles for your wedding season can help you. 

After you’ve made the necessary engagement announcements to your family and closest friends, sit down together and pray. Pray about how you want this wedding planning period and your wedding day to look like.

Here are the questions many couples wish they have discussed before planning the logistics of their wedding, plus more follow-up questions:

1.  How would you like your fiancé/fiancée to feel after the wedding day?

  • How often will you have date nights while you’re engaged?

  • How do you want your date nights to look like? Will they be:

    • Wedding planning sessions to be efficient with time

    • A mix of wedding planning sessions and marriage preparation sessions

    • Absolutely no wedding talks

    • Spontaneous / anything goes

  • How will you communicate with each other whenever you feel loved?

  • How will you communicate with each other whenever you don’t agree with certain choices for the wedding?

  • What would you do if someone from your family disagrees with your wedding decisions?

  • How will you split the wedding planning tasks?

  • Are you going to have your honeymoon right away? If no, why not? If yes, why so?

  • How will you receive financial assistance from either family that wouldn’t trump your decision-making powers for your wedding?

Remember, your fiancé now will be your HUSBAND for the rest of your life. How you treat him now will determine how you'll treat him when you're married.

2.  How would you like your guests to feel after attending your wedding?

  • How much effort are you willing to give in order to provide information to your guests?

  • What will be your reasoning for choosing the guests you are planning to invite?

  • Are you inviting the kids of your guests? If you’re inviting kids, how would you make your wedding friendly to parents with little children?

  • Are you inviting “plus ones”?

  • What experience would you like your guests to have when they arrive at your wedding venue?

  • What message would you like to convey to your guests through the ceremony proceedings and reception programme?

  • Are you giving gifts to your friends? If so, how would you like your guests to feel when they receive them?

Get all these questions in a printable PDF!

3.  How would you like your marital finances to look the day after your wedding?

  • Are you going to budget for your wedding in such a way that you’ll also have funds for your honeymoon?

  • Where are you going to get your wedding funds from?*

  • Who will be the bookkeeper or accountant?*

  • Are you going to create a separate account for your wedding funds?

  • What is your justification for taking on debt for the wedding?

  • What are the things you’d like to do during your first year of marriage that won’t intervene with debt re-payment, or won’t incur you any new debt?

  • How do you plan to use the monetary gift/s you’ll be receiving?

  • Are you going to stick to a budget for your wedding?

  • How do you plan on sticking to your budget?

*To learn more about how you can be wiser about your wedding and money, click here.

One of the inspirations of this blog was the affirmation we've received from our wedding guests. Everyone had something positive to say about their experience at our wedding. That could only be possible because we made a decision to honour God first, and to honour our family and friends next.

4.  How would you like to use this planning season to learn?

  • How do you plan to handle vendors who may not deliver as agreed?

  • How will you handle unsolicited suggestions from family and friends?

  • How much help are you willing to receive or ask from family and friends?

  • What would you like to learn more about your fiancé / fiancée?

  • What would you like to learn more about God?

5.  How would you like to honour God during your engagement and on your wedding day?

  • How will you protect your prayer time?

  • How will you exemplify excellence in planning a wedding that’s inspired by God?

  • Would you use this time to exemplify godly stewardship to others?

  • How will you use this season to share about God to other people?

  • How will you practice giving thanks to God during this season?

A couple dear to us shared at their wedding their testimony of how their lives have changed since committing themselves to Christ. It didn't only move people to tears, but more importantly, had people asking how they can experience such a thing too!

I suggest answering these questions before you even start planning the wedding. That’s the idea of guiding principles. The wedding planning process can be overwhelming in itself. You’d want to protect your relationship by being better at communicating. You'll be surprised at how rich your conversations would be!

Let me know in the comment section below what your experience was like when you talked about finances with your fiancé for the first time.

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